Light floods through the open door and flows over him, leaving behind his shadow as he stood there for as long as he remembered. Staring far in the distance space, he was thinking about those questions, still looking for the answers, the answers which kept him awake for most of the night. He is a deep sleeper, has always been but not lately. Lately, he was just not himself. He barely spoke. He could hardly hold any conversation for more than 30 seconds, he would end up nodding and lost into his own thoughts. Perhaps, thinking again about those questions, “why me?”; “I could have done something to avoid it. Right?”; “What will happen now?”
November 14, the day when it all happened. It was a usual morning. Everyone was in a jovial mood. The usual discussions around morning coffee about a good place for lunch. However, something was different. It was not very obvious then but, in hindsight, it all adds up. Everyone was in a jovial mood yet a feeling of anxiety could have been sensed in their tone. The nervousness was palpable in that small room. Their effort of hiding it, shadowing it with loud laughter was only making it worse. If only, he too could have understood it. It still wouldn’t have mattered. It would not have changed anything, but perhaps it would not be that surprising, or may be not.
Later that day, it became an unusual afternoon. Things will never be the same for him. The news hit him as an unexpected blow in one’s jaw, only more painful. He was too numb to even understand. It took him a moment to sink in those words. Each word inflicting more pain as they sunk in, deep inside him. It was difficult to say which feeling was overpowering – whether it was surprise, fear or anger. It was helplessness.
To Be Continued…
Image by Nadir Hashmi